You really coming over, don't trick.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
