i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
