suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
