We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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