The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
