I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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