So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
