i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
