Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
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And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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