Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she told me i tasted like america
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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