So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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