Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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