She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
