Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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