Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
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