I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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