Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
