The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
that's an acceptable place to lick
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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