What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
