I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
