forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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