i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
