I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
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i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
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I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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