Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
