your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
we're blogging at a bar
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
