I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I need a beard to bite.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
