I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
