They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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