my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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