Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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