why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
