So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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