You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
did i just pee glitter
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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