that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
