She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
