wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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