Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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