last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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