in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
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you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
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its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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