Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
