i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
