This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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