i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
