there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
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my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
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nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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