carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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