I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think my moral compass just broke
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
