I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
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