Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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