I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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