Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize