So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i've created a new STD.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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