You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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