We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
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#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
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He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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