go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
