**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
