so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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