make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
