Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
