Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
