You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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