I think i peed on brittanys purse
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
